Tuesday, September 7, 2010
I just want to say that I'm grateful. I had a hell of a weekend & started to find myself in that state of mind where I was losing hope. I think it was more from just pure exhaustion though. I know that things will always be alright. Unless it kills me (or the ones I love), who cares, right? Depression can really mess with your head. I think I'm doing OK with it lately though. I used to let it consume me. Lately I have moments, but I remind myself that life is beautiful. It's rough, but soooo beautiful. Everybody deals with stress. We are all thrown insane curve balls. It truly is all about how you respond to the crap that is thrown your way. Don't get me wrong, I know that some of us get it worse than others, but you still have to fight. I used to just get angry like it was the end of the world. It was a serious snowball effect. I was contagious. My household fell apart, but when you remind yourself that it doesn't really matter, whatever it may be, things start to fall into place...usually. I used to lose sleep over worrying. I can't believe some of the stuff I worried about. Well, actually, I can, but what a WASTE. I still worry, but it doesn't consume my every moment. I have some great listeners (my bestest girl & bestest sister) to thank for my somewhat sanity. My boys too. If it wasn't for my husband & two beautiful boys, I wouldn't have ever taken the steps I'm taking now, to grow. They are worth every bit of fight I have to give everyday! I know I'm worth it too *gag*, but it took their importance to me, for me to figure that out. So I am just grateful. Anyway, this is all very general, but it's all I have in me tonight.