It is so funny to actually hear the things you say sometimes. Like giving advice & realizing it applies to you. I have an issue with control. I don't mean I'm bossy, but I like to be in control of my surroundings. I want stability & a safe environment. Who doesn't? I try so hard to make a certain person I love very much fight to be happy. Realistically I know that only he can do that, but I still drain my energy, that I lack anyway, to push him to fight. I've told myself to stop, my big sis reminds me & my best girl, but I still do it. OH, & my therapist:)
I was having a talk with Luke about this little shithead, in preschool, that punched him in the gut yesterday. He has complained about him a lot, but yesterday pissed me off. What mom wouldn't get mad;) He told me he (the mean kid) is always angry. I was trying to explain to him that some kids are mean or sad and there was nothing much he could do to make him happy. He kept telling me that he wanted to make him happy/nice :( I said, "you can't make him be nice, sweetie". Right when I said that it hit me like a ton of bricks. I've logically always know that, but have had a hard time accepting it. I'm sure I'll continue to let it "slip" my mind again, but for now it's helpful.
Anyway, I will continue to grow in the direction of happiness & gratitude. I pray the ones I love will grow with me.
|why would you mess with ma boy?|